A Letter To New York City

Dear New York, 

This summer has flown by, it wasn't until about last weekend when I escaped home for a bit of a detox that I realized how fleeting my time here is. A lot is scheduled to change in my life soon, I'm starting my senior year of college and then entering the "real world" shortly there after. 

I was unsure about you, New York. In the beginning I was go, go, go, and constantly trying new things, going to new places, and being little Miss Explorer everyday. But then things got busy, I got so caught up in my work, I got stressed and soon the hustle and bustle became less inspiring and a bit more daunting. 
Waking up in a windowless room after barely getting four to five hours of sleep each day I was constantly exhausted. Overwhelmed by the amount of work I had to do for myself, and "had" is a strong word. Should I rephrase it and say that I was overwhelmed by the amount of work I wanted to do for myself. The videos I wanted to make, the photos I wanted to take, I wanted to do it all, and yet there never felt like there was enough time in the world to do it.

Bogged down by stress and time, I was feeling at a loss so I ran home! I thought that going home for some time with family, friends and real nature, not city planned greenery, would make me come back feeling recharged, renewed, and refreshed.

The entire train ride back to the city I was feeling good, granted I was watching Stranger Things and eating fresh baked cookies, feeling good was inevitable. But the second, the SECOND I walked off of the train and on to the Penn Station platform I was bombarded with humidity, people shoulder to shoulder, and immediate frustration. I did not want to be back, I wanted to be floating on the river, ears full of water, skin dappled by a mild sunburn from a setting sun like I was the day prior.
For about a day or so this feeling persisted. It wasn't until I was talking to my friend who reminded me that, "tomorrow is a new day." It was Wednesday and something just clicked. All of a sudden, seemingly out of nowhere, I had a great burst of inspiration. I realized that I'm only here for 19 more days, I have to really fill each of those days, and begin them with set intentions and a purpose without being too hard on myself if I don't get things done.

I want to give New York another chance. I had been saying, "maybe it's not for me, maybe I should try San Fransisco or LA after college," but at the same time I don't want to give up. I'm not someone who just gives up. Yes it can be frustrating feeling as though I work, work, work, and see little progress or growth, but that's what sets me apart, and what can set anyone apart too. Working hard. 

New York, you are a place that has made me realize my potential. You are a place where I am eager to return to and get my gears moving and grooving. Although there may never feel as though there is enough time to do all that I want to do, I am feeling positive about doing the most for myself. I do what I do because I love it. Even when I take breaks I cant stay away from creating, because it's what I love to do!
New York, maybe you and I are simply meant to be. Perhaps this high strung, humid summer is just what I needed from you to motivate me, that's what a change of scenery should do after all, right? 

New York, I'd label our relationship as complicated, something that drives me crazy, but I just can't stay away, sounds a whole lot like love, or at least how it is in the movies. 

New York, I hate to leave you so soon, but don't worry, I'll be back. 



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